We came into the episode not really knowing the rationale behind a lot of Ali's first choices, and I'm still not sure that I understand why Chris N. doesn't have a speaking role and why the ABC psychologist hasn't weighed in on who should go for safety purposes. I'm actually starting to fear for Ali's wellbeing. And if I didn't think that Rated R would lay the smack down on any jabronie that threatened the Bachelorette's life - I'd question why she didn't run back to Facebook and pick her computer and desk over love again.
Needless to say - Converse is getting some MAJOR publicity and if I were them would start up a new 'Ali the Bachelorette' line.
One-on-One #1 - "There's Nothing Normal About You"
Frank
Well despite the fact that I spent the whole date looking for Frank's eyes - I see a definite connection between the two and a potential for him to go far. Frankie gets the first kiss after the "first car breakdown in Bachelorette history" and a romantic perch behind the Hollywood sign. It's clear Ali is all about this one and chock full of compliments (quote: "There's nothing normal about you.") Weatherman was generous in making the sky above full of stars ... ensuring this was a great first date. Frank gets the first smooch and the first date rose - later admitting that he already thinks Ali is his girlfriend. Does that happen in real life? I thought he's supposed to text her for four months, act like her boyfriend, and then tell her he's not really looking for a serious relationship.
Group Date #1 - Green Eggs and Banana Ham-mocks
Ty, Kirk, Craig M., Rated R, Tyler V., Steve, Kasey the Muppet, Hunter, Jonathan, Chris H., Chris N., Craig R. (whoop, whoop)
I mean, having just gotten off the beaches myself - it was nice to see the group letting loose ... and letting it all hang out. And what's better is that all those scenes are now available in a yearlong calendar for just $24.95. Steve's abs were AWESOME and Ty sang his remix of "love don't come easy". Boys aside, Ali has a real body - toned but with real curves. I like those who embraced their photo shoot outfit - cue 6'4 Craig R. in a red speedo and poor little Weatherman (quote: "bless his little heart") with a duck floatie around his waist. Ty later fesses up to having been married before - respectable and rose-worthy. A few questions coming out of beach day -
- Seriously I'm with Craig R - what is the deal with the Bachelorette guitar singers?
- Um, John N. who are you and why are you here?
- Who's buying this calendar?
Jesse
Jesse (don't mind if I do) and Ali head out to Sin City. Cue classic "ohh, I'm so scared of flying and he makes me feel so safe". I will say that Jesse (don't mind if I do, again) cleans up nicely and is very nice to look at. He is a Peculiar (and yummy) man, isn't he. Conversation was deep - "You look really good." "Ali and I would make a good looking couple, dude" ... "I really like what I see when I'm with him."
I'll give him the benefit of the doubt that being the first to go to Liquid made him speechless and conversation difficult. Oh and don't forget an exclusive concert from Jamie Cullum. Little did Jesse know - it wasn't exclusive, no one showed up to the concert. Needless to say, Jesse gets the rose. I'm cool with Jesse, for sure.
Rose Ceremony - "If He Gets a Rose Tonight, I Will Know There is No God."
Well Weatherman, there are a few bachelors left that beg the question - Is there a God? I'm on board with the fact that Ali didn't need to have a date with Chris L. (LOVE) and Roberto to know she wanted to keep them around. But I don't think I'm alone when I say there was a full moon that night because all the "dangerous" crazies were out. I was afraid Craig M. (BTFLN: (#203) Craig M. = American Psycho) would give me nightmares, and Weatherman made me anxious. Rose Ceremony - "If He Gets a Rose Tonight, I Will Know There is No God."
Some ceremony highlights: Kasey continues to compete with Kermit the Frog and the teacher from Charlie Brown for voiceovers. Rated R pretended to like Ali; she fell for it. Weatherman predicted that the forecast is rainy with a chance of ninja, and after calling in sick from work, Craig M. channeled Spencer Pratt with eye twitches, power stones, bullying and freak outs.
And the Roses Go To:
- Frank (date rose)
- Ty (date rose)
- Jesse (date rose)
- Kasey, brought to you by Jim Henson
- Hunter
- Roberto
- Chris L.
- Rated R
- Six Pack Steve
- Kirk
- John C.
- Craig R.
- Chris N. - um, WHO ARE YOU? but seriously.
- Weatherman
-HMOH
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