HMOH tip #705: wedding over a holiday weekend, let's discuss

A happy, happy birthday to our dear country!!  Sure - we can't possibly rule the world in football if we continue to call it soccer, but we're pretty much the best at everything else. 


There's a serious East Coast heatwave - so I'm exhausted (and really tan). I had full intentions of writing up a big piece on weddings over the holiday weekend (WOTHW).  I was lucky enough to have my whole holiday weekend at the beach (thanks Battles) - however, I know many a friend who spent it at one, even two weddings. Next year I'm anticipating two bank holidays spent at wedding receptions, and so it seemed the perfect topic to survey a handful of readers about. 


How do you feel upon receiving a save-the-date that essentially asks you to put your vacation plans on hold?  We all know that WOTHW typically require expensive travel, a missed trip, and/or a loss beach day or long weekend.  Most will agree that if it's a good enough friend, it's still a special day and there will always be next year.  Most also agree that if given the choice, they wouldn't personally set out to share nuptials on a day we're supposed to be celebrating a Monday off.  A WOTHW may be beneficial for grooms since they're less likely to forget their anniversary (fireworks = buy her flowers), but what girl wants to share the attention with our Founding Fathers or you know, Laborers?


The majority of those who responded to my questionnaire feel a wedding obligation during the holiday weekend is nothing but a nuisance. I think it depends on where the couple expects you to be - Bodunk,PA (not so much) - but when I was asked to spend this coming Labor Day in the Bahamas, I signed myself up (with a nonrefundable ticket that cost $200 to reroute, but no hard feelings). 


Following are some of the shared thoughts on a wedding over the holiday weekend from some loyal (and witty) HMOH readers:

• "Nothing I hate more.  Don’t care who’s wedding this is. When I get the save-the-date, in my mind it reads:  Dear Friends and Family,  'Because our lives are more important than yours, we would like to do you the favor of giving you something to do over July 4th weekend. We know that if it was not for this wedding invite, you would be sitting at home in your sweats wondering why no one you know is around. But now, thanks to the love that has grown between the two of us, you will be blessed with a long expensive weekend ..."
• "Memorial Day/Labor Day - I group these two together because I can never remember which one is which anyway.  I live in Pittsburgh, I don't have a beach house to frequent on the weekends, and most of my summer holiday weekends consist of a picnic or two (nothing to write home about).  Therefore, these dates don't bother me too much.  If you are traveling, it works because you don't need to take any time off of work - and if you are staying in town, it is simply a reason to celebrate an otherwise non-eventful three day weekend."
• "First, I think you can/should only do a holiday weekend wedding IF you can handle the following...1) inviting all of your friends, with potentially dates, so they can enjoy the whole weekend, and 2) not taking it personally when people say no (because they have every right to!)"
• "I think it's annoying if someone does it over a holiday, and if I wasn't that close with them I would most likely not go.  Now to a more important question, are you going to Fire Island this weekend??"
• "VDAY weddings. Never ok.  If you are in a loving, committed relationship you probably want to spend cupid’s day nestled in a romantic restaurant somewhere with an overpriced bottle of merlot.  If you are single, you want to celebrate by stabbing yourself with cupid’s bow, but instead will settle for a fun dinner with friends.  Who really cares about Valentine’s Day anyway, right? And if you have been recently dumped, you hope everyone at Table Nine chokes on their shrimp cocktail.  Fast dancing to a slow song at a wedding on Valentine’s Day (simply because you want to overcompensate for the fact you’re dateless)  is just depressing .... not that I would know from personal experience or anything."

In an effort to give all those who book weddings over the holiday weekend the chance to defend themselves, I asked a few I know that have 2011 holiday nuptials planned.  One bride-to-be with a Memorial Day weekend wedding said she booked it because she had really wanted a twilight reception on the Sunday; gives everyone the Monday to recover.  That day had been booked 2.5 years earlier, so she settled on the Monday.  Another, who will be getting married next July 4th weekend said it was a cost saver for her and her family, which allows her to spend budget on more important things.


In all, this is likely a case by case situation (hmm, how much do you really love them?).  It depends on your relationship to the couple and how far out your holiday weekends are planned.  The worst part is coming up with an excuse to politely decline on the RSVP card.  "HMOH will not be in attendance. Um, my beach house needs me? xoxo" 


-HMOH


p.s. During our July 4th BBQ, my friend Randy told me that he was going to attempt to say something funny so he could make it onto the blog.  Instead he spent the majority of the evening taking off his shirt during ping pong matches and at the bar.  And for that, he has made the blog.