It's my main man C Harrison that kicks off the season with a small reminder that only two men remain. He first meets separately with Ali to talk through some of the crazies she got to meet this season (and that ABC got to publicize). He asks her about Kasey (Manamana - whoa, it's been a while) and Ali said that his patented "guard and protect" and singing were awkward to say the least. I was happy to hear that Kirk made it through in the beginning because of his scrapbook, and I can say after this past episode that he is going to be a fan favorite for the next Bachelor.
The following summaries highlight the stroll down Bachelorette Season 6 Lane (think they have studio apartments for rent there?).
Love me some bloopers and "you didn't see it" reels. In the case of the astronaut helmet, it's a "Ali was too blacked out she doesn't remember" reel. In addition to that classic, faves included:
- Roberto almost takes Ali's eye out with a champagne cork - she, of course, thought it was cute.
- Frank's dad toasts the family in what seemed to be a string of nouns and adjectives from Webster's Old English Dictionary, stumping the blonde at the table and viewers alike. Luckily, it was a joke and his son picked his ex-girlfriend over Ali.
- Chris N. is introduced as the phantom. He reminds me of the butler in Mr. Deeds. You know, the one that is very, very sneaky ...
But the biggest shocker came when I realized CHRIS N. TALKS. He talks, and he's kind of funny ... and while we're at it, pretty attractive. Weatherman still likes boys. And Craig, well Craig likes the camera.
We are then asked to relive the Frank break up, which I'm going to go out on a limb and say is not the last time we'll be asked to do so. I have to say, the montage proves that Frank was in it for the right reasons for a while. I guess you can't help where your heart lies.
Next up Krazy Kasey. Manamana. God how I've missed you. I just haven't felt that Ali's heart has really been guarded and protected since your departure. And that's why Frank was able to break it. Without a moment of hesitation - C Harrison calls Kasey's sh*t out. Tells him he ain't no singer and that he often wanted to scream "dude, stop." If I could spend the day in someone's head, it would be C Harr's during taping (that's respectable, right?). But Kasey only wanted to be a good memory in Ali's mind. A memory he will be.
Kirk. Oh Kirky. This cheesehead had me at scrapbook. I knew Ali wasn't the one he was going to ultimately end up with, but I'm confident this guy will find himself a good girl. Always a way with words, he eloquently puts how unfair it was that Frank didn't allow him to advance this relationship. Kirk for Bachelor! Who's with me?
Next we dive into the Rated R. scandal. I couldn't have been happier when they replayed the voice messages. As Weatherman weighs in on this, the cameraman pans out to the crowd rolling their eyes. And then the bashing begins. The studio audience realizes they bought tickets to the "Craig Show", but it's entertaining all the same. My dear friend Craig wants to take this opportunity (and about 45 additional show minutes) to clear something up. He wants to set the record straight, and speak for everyone else when he says he couldn't care less. Then in such carefully chosen words that only a frat boy turned lawyer could say: "Just an as*shole being an as*hole." Nuff said.
Of course it wouldn't be a Rated R. discussion without bringing out the Bachelor contestant that no one remembers to weigh in on how she brought this scandal to the attention of the producers. Jessie is reintroduced by C Harr (he knows we all need reminding) and then this Canadian chick speaks more in four seconds than she did on Jake's season. Jessie laid it on THICK when she looked over at Craig and winked. "Call me." I see it - the two could get along blowing up other people's spots.
Jessie wasn't the only one to set her sights on Craig. How about the hot audience member that offered to be his cheerleader? And how about my former coworker that Facebook messaged me this morning to get the scoop for the ladies in her office on whether Craig is single and available.
Now for the face-to-face. Enter Ali. Her is hair is tragic to say the least, but I'm into her dress again. She addresses the worst part about the show was having to let people go; and you know, the time she left her apartment and job and then got broken up with. Kirk gets his shot at speaking and he makes our living room couch swoon (we even had a crier). And then, of course, Kasey gets to singing and the couch cringes at this freakshow. Made me miss him mucho.
I have to say the ending clip of Craig and Roberto speaking Spanish on the couch was great - and then the pissing the bed .... HA! How many times did you rewind that, seriously? It's what I used to call "Saturday night at Penn State." Secured Craig in the hearts of many girls around the country, I'm sure.
So we're left with the inevitable video clips of the final two. I'm really torn on who, if anyone, she's going to choose in the end. She thinks Roberto is perfect, and that never bodes well. But we know Chris could be a stage-five clinger despite his genuineness.
I guess it's all worth the finale next week! I can't for the life of me believe the season is almost over. And just when I thought I was going to get my Mondays back to do something productive like ... I don't know ... go to a gym, Bachelor Pad goes all Road Rules/Real World meets Bachelor with a ton of crazy written all over it. I can be into that.
-HMOH
Said from the couch: I love Kirk!
ReplyDelete(For the record, no tears...I had something in my eye)