SIDENOTE: you know it's been a good week when ...

• I got into the elevator after picking up a boring salad with some chick that was carrying a McDonald's bag that smelled of sweet artery-clogging goodness.  I hated her for not having a conscience.
• My baby brother - like little six foot something brother - turned twenty.  I used to tuck this kid in at night.  To ensure I, I mean he, won at hide and seek, I'd zip him up in duffel bags or put him in the laundry basket and then throw the dirty clothes on top of him - tell him to stay there until someone found him.  He's in his twenties, doesn't fit into duffel bags, has skanky college girls tuck him in at night and probably makes them hide in the laundry basket until he says so.
• I bought into the whole personal trainer thing after feeling guilty for working late a few days and not making it to the gym.  I spent the whole time trying to prove I was better than her at working out.
• If you know me, you know I love to-do lists (you also know if you try to write on my to-do list in your funky handwriting I will have a heart attack).  Since the next few weeks at work are going to be intense - I created my life's biggest masterpiece.  A lifesize to-do list.  I call group meetings to collectively cross off an item that's been completed.  One thing down, seven hundred more to go.
• I left my wallet, with my pass to get into the office, at my apt.  Lucky for me I'm on a last name basis with the mafioso lobby guard who thinks my uncle is the mayor of some town in New Jersey.  I'm like - "oh I forgot my wallet and pass" and he's like "leave the wallet, take the cannoli."
• This morning on my walk to work, I got hit by a car.  I use the word 'hit' lightly, because the car lightly hit me.  I smacked the hood and tried to be all dramatic, but the driver looked so sad and sorry.  I kinda almost felt bad for her. It's totally cool, I probably would have accidentally hit you too.

TGIF.

-HMOH