HMOHAD = HMOH acronym dictionary

I've deemed myself (along with my friends) the BAIE, or Best Acronym Inventor Ever.  See if you can follow along - below is the HMOH acronym dictionary.  Please note, the opinions contained within the following post do not necessarily reflect those of the HMOH (unless you think it's funny, then that's totally hers).


BM - (n.) no, not what you're thinking.  also known as b'maid or best man.  it's already been made clear that even the most mature of adults, reading a blog about weddings, will think this is short for poop.  so all bridemaids will be referred to as b'maids and should i feel the need to address poop, i'll go ahead and use BM.  That dress looks really tricky.  It's going to suck if the b'maid has to make a BM.


BMOHSE - (n.) best maid of honor speech ever. 
I cried, I laughed, I got her number afterwards.  That was the BMOHSE.


BNE - (n.) best. night. ever.  typically referring to a really fun wedding, which usually includes a live band, great music, dancing and an open bar.  I can't thank you enough for coming to share in our special day today.  It was for us a BNE.


BNR - (adj./adv.) but not really, typically follows a j/k.  (c) Jac + Jill
You're seriously a bitchy bridezilla. I'm just kidding. BNR.


BTB - (n.) bride-to-be, commonly refers to the girl that spends 85% of her work day combing wedding web sites, calling vendors and bossing around b'maids.  the other 15% is spent freaking out that the wedding is only 1+ years away.  The BTB better get started on that diet now that her wedding is just two months away.  


BWE - (n). best. wedding. ever., on those saturdays and sundays not spent at the chapel - used to describe a best. weekend. ever.  Seriously, I tore up that dance floor. BWE.


DW - (n.) fail. also known as a destination wedding.   in my experience and research, you're lucky if this happens.  typically postponed or rescheduled and relocated to destination: Mississippi Valley chapel. also possible you have to go to this with an ex boyfriend since you broke up after the wedding plans were made.  also guarantees creepy 55 year old Europeans in bikinis (BNR) in the background of your scenic beach front photos. Want to come to this DW with me?  Let's hold off on buying plane tickets until we know it's actually happening.

FOB - (n.) father of the bride.  payer of the checks.  escort down the aisle.  greatest movie ever.  You know that movie Father of the Bride, said the FOB.  It's not a comedy, it's a documentary.


HMOH - (n.) handmaid of honor, also known as the maid of honor that is employed to do the arts and crafts associated with a wedding (i.e., place cards, bows bouquet, etc.).  So I noticed you had really nice handwriting, said the bride.  Would you be willing to address my envelopes, you HMOH you.


MOB - (n.) mother of the bride. co-payer of the checks. lives vicariously through daughter's wedding planning.  most likely to stick by the BTB even if she's a seriously crazy bride-y b*tch.  The MOB looks lovely in that silver dress, in a handstand, on the dance floor (true story).


STD - (n.) 1) save-the-date  2) something you hope the groom doesn't pick up at his bachelor party
Just got your STD, I'm so excited.
Just got your STD, the wedding is off.

WOHW - (n.) wedding over the holiday weekend.  travel is expensive.  people want to get away anywhere other than to a wedding (unless of course it's a DW that actually pans out).  expect your closest family and friends, plus those who don't have a beach house.  The BTB is so lucky that my plans for fourth of July fell through or I totally would have made up an excuse about this one.


Feel free to share your BWA (best wedding acronyms) in the comments section!  


-HMOH