There are times that I'm not certain how I become somewhat connected ... and how I can say that a reader (and friend of a friend) was a member of this "eccentric" couple's wedding party:
Yea, so ... let's discuss. What I'm still more confused about is how this bride let these shenanigans go down on her big day. No midget, I mean little person, is going to outshine me as the bride. Hell, I can't imagine I'd agree to this (I meannnn, maybe a choreographed dance or something) without being roofied by my groom-to-be or promised a serious upgrade on my ring and second honeymoon by our one year anniversary. But I've been informed by my sources that there was also a little person at the bride's bachelorette and FIVE (yep, five) bridal showers, not including the bar crawl in honor of this lady. Apparently she has a fondness for torturing her friends and midgets. Dear Bride, I mean this with the utmost respect, as you are a friend of a friend of a friend.
And Dear Groom, I'm thinking by your wedding reception it's about time to wipe the slate clean of all the other things that have been up your wife's skirt.
Of course the douchiest Web site of them all - Barstool Sports - ate this up, and I'll admit I had to lower the volume on my work computer as the porn music began to play and I began to giggle. Regardless, I hope this garter retrieval helped get you through this Hump Day.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say this thing makes it way through the internet fast ... that this wedding took place in New Jersey, and that I have plenty of a gentleman friends who would want to upstage this couple.
So I ask - would you allow this at your reception? Leave thoughts, comments, chuckles, shout outs to your fave little person, etc. below.
-HMOH
