HMOH: best of 2011

What's best about keeping a running blog of moments in time is the ability to look back on what you were doing a year ago.  The lessons you learned, the highlights, the low points, the people who stuck it out alongside you and made the journey what it was supposed to be.  A year older, definitely a year wiser. To be fair, I worry most not about what the next year will bring, but how many sheets of my daily to-do list I'll have to get through before I get the "month/date/12" right.  


So, have you accomplished all you set out to do (I mean, I know … that 5 lbs stuck out the year with me too)? Have you said the things you wanted to say or become the person you want to be?  Written that book you swear you're meant to?  


In preparation for letting the past year pass and embracing the next (it's going to be a good one, for real) … here are some wise words people have told me, or quite frankly I make up.  Regardless, this is the best of what 2011 has left me with.

• The powers that be will never toss you more than you can handle.  You'll learn that you can take on way more than you thought you could. #factoflife
• It could always be worse … but let's be serious, it could always be better.
• Even if you have to spend your weekends at wedding activities, you're spending them with your best friends.
• Natural disasters - hurricanes, earthquakes, college scandals, maids of honor - they can shake your core and worry you, but with those you love by your side … they become just another experience (and if you know me, a blog post).
• Despite your best efforts at bachelorette parties, you may find yourself faced with outrageous strippers, bride-to-be's ex boyfriends and high school acquaintances.
• Sometimes you just have to sit back and be grateful for what you have - and don't have - anymore.
• Just because they moved on does not mean they won.  It means someone else gets to deal with their bullshit.
• Double chins may come and go, but best friends - whether near or far - are forever.
• Let work teach you new things, open your eyes to new experiences and cultures, and fulfill you.  Don't let it consume you.
• New York City is New York City.  To those who live here, that can lose it's luster. But just exploring opportunities to be elsewhere can make you realize you couldn't be anywhere else.  

• Um, the demise of marriages and productivity everywhere? Simply put … Pintrest. 
• You are never too old to rally, head back to college, survive on little to no sleep, believe you're really 25 again, and "beast".   
• But seriously, you're like pushing 30. It's ok to stay in, watch a movie or catch up on your trashy reality TV-filled DVR.
• Stop complaining about Facebook changes.  They will inevitably happen, you will adapt, and you'll eventually forget what the "good ol days" used to be before your life was a timeline.
• The search for that watch that always shows when the time is right continues ...
• Eventually your MOH duties transition into "Aunt of Honor" duties as your best friends learn they're expecting.  2012 is going to bring some changes (read: baby showers, HMOH projects, and diapers), new additions - and the next little love of my life.

So with that and lots of HMOH love … I say a year later, cheers to 2011, here's to 2012.


-HMOH


And in keeping with tradition, 2011 HMOH totals:

• Wedding Invitations Received: 9
• Weddings Attended: 7
• Bridesmaid Dresses Purchased: 2
• Engagements Celebrated: 5
• Save-the-dates Received: 5
• 2012 Weddings, To Date: 4

stand to the right, make the best of what's left

Despite finding myself on 5th Avenue and in Herald Square in the days after Christmas - faced with climbing massive subway stairs because tourists don't know the "stand to the right, walk up the left" rule on escalators (if you're a NYer, you know what I mean.  If you're not, get to the right) - I'm loving the weeks off of work and time to actually run errands.  

So while the year's winding down, I'll soon reflect on what has transpired - good and bad, lessons learned, good times had.  Before I bid farewell to 2011 (something I will gladly do), I'm going to hang tight onto the holiday spirit, walk up subway stairs, tear up the next few days and look forward to what 2012 has in store.

-HMOH

santa's coming to town ... and your wedding, and your studio apt

Well my fave over at A Cup of Jo introduced me to this site.  It let's you capture Santa in your living room (or "beving room" ... should your bed reside next to your couch) so that you can prove that the Big Man really did visit your house (ehmm studio apartment) over the holidays.  


So, I did it.

I realized I'm seriously a child.  And then I got to thinking:

• What if I could get these pesky watermarks off the images without paying for them (and thank you, Lauren) ... and
• What if Santa just straight chilled with me all year round?  What if he was my plus one to weddings, brought me birthday presents, tailgated, etc.

Like, what if?

No big deal ... 

too much tailgate food?

Santa just goes ahead and brushes his shoulder off

handMaid of Santa?

So for those of you who are clearly checked out this week (myself included), get to inviting Santa over to some of your big events.  Guaranteed good time.


-HMOH

SIDENOTE: a holiday before the holiday

And so I'm back.  A holiday before the holiday if you will.  Mental fatigue from work and the season has kept me away, not to mention priorities of drinking wine, eating my face off and making the best of what's left of 2011.  Finished up the wedding season finally this past Saturday - with a solid 4 month hiatus before any further bridal/wedding obligations hit the calendar.  (Seriously, I just high-fived myself)


Now I know good ol Nick is making his rounds and checking that list twice.  But perhaps some sidenotes you can check out too:


For starters the freak boy who cut in front of me on the subway platform with sandals on and toes that looked way too much like fingers, did not start my day off on the right foot.  Yea, I know. Funny. Stop.  But what did kind of turn my frown upside down was the man that shoved the woman getting off the subway and that same woman who then ran across traffic, took a photo of said man with her iPhone and told him she was going to find him. I laughed mainly because, no ma'am. You won't.  There's not yet a Shazam for men who abuse you on public transportation.  If there was, girls my age would know about it and use it to track down cute guys who they swore stared at them the whole ride and like practically proposed with their eyes while getting off at the Christopher Street stop.


I'm excited it's starting to feel a lot like Christmas, which hasn't been as cool since I stopped cutting toys out of the Toys R Us Big Book and gluing them to a collage for SC to buy me everything. Everything. Santa sure knows how to win over a girl.  But on that note and in the holiday spirit I stumbled upon this little gem of a note.  I'm pretty sure I probably have written something like this.  In better handwriting.  With 100% of the words spelled correctly (just saying). I was smarter than little Claire, yet totally get where she's coming from - the hole puncher shows she's practical and organized and a Virgo.  And clearly her brother shouldn't be rewarded for messy handwriting.  You see something, you say something ... and this needed to be brought to Santa's attention.

Additionally, I was excited to receive a holiday pickle over the weekend (yea, you read that correctly).  Offended that I was just learning about this in my old age, I relished in my secret santa gift of a pickle ornament.  German tradition dictates that it's to be hidden in the tree for the "kids" to find and receive an extra gift.  We didn't do this as a child - probably because the rentals tried to keep things more kid-friendly on our tree.  We didn't hide meatballs or dried sausages - I don't think that's true Italian tradition. Because I'd be just as excited to find a real pickle under the tree, I'll be sure to start this tradition moving forward and hope it doesn't lead to any awkward birds + bees talks.


And so ... this is what my tired brain has allowed me to lay down here.  Perhaps some much needed time off and rest/relaxation (read: more food, drinks and socializing) will get me back into the swing of things.  


-HMOH

i wish i may, i wish i might

If you know me - you know today is like officially my favorite day.  I'm going to be wishing the hell out of it. Let's begin:

• I wish that all of us take a moment today to thank our veterans and all those who are serving our country.
• I wish that justice is served for those who have done unthinkable things.
• I wish that PSU will rise above this mess ... and beat Nebraska.
• I wish this day goes quickly.
• I wish my friends running the Tough Mudder this weekend the best of luck.
• I wish you could just shrink sizes in a day because you didn't really want to diet and hypothetically speaking, these jeans are really tight.
• I wish you all a great weekend.

-HMOH

a letter to my peeps: PS we will show U

I've learned a lot this week. I've reconfirmed that you fall for moral integrity as much, if not more, than legal integrity.  I've learned that freedom of speech is a privilege that stupid people should not be allowed.  That Facebook allows a platform for uneducated people to offer up their opinions on just about everything ... and in the wake of a travesty, media has turned an awful situation about young victims into a focus on others.  I don't offer you my opinions here (kind of, but not really) ... but I did want to share the message below.

A fellow PSUer sent this email along last evening to a group of us.  I'm doing my part by donating to THON and sharing this with all of you.  I've learned a lot more the past few days about how much Penn State is in my heart.  Now those victims are in my heart and so is the passion to show - once again - that our school's reputation and pride will live on. 

__________________________

Fellow PSU Alums,

The past few days have been among the worst in PSU history and I know all of our hearts are a little heavy as a result.  Something like this wasn’t supposed to happen at Penn State, the place from which we all have so many great memories.  The emotions we are feeling range from disgust to anger and disbelief to sadness.  The worst for me though has been a feeling of helplessness.  I’ve watched the news coverage and read the horrible details, but I hated the feeling that I could do nothing to help those young boys or restore the pride we have in the Penn State community.

The PA attorney general is taking the first step in helping the victims, but we as a Penn State community cannot just sit back and wait for justice to take its course and for the board of directors to decide who should be fired.  We need to do more.  We need to do more to restore the pride we have in our great university.  So my friend Jonathan Englert and I propose this: let’s elevate an amazing children’s charity that Penn State students started more than 30 years ago and raise more money for THON than has ever been raised before.  Let’s be ambitious.  Last year they raised almost $10M.  Let’s raise $50M for THON this year.

Let’s demonstrate to the rest of the world that the Penn State community is far better than what the alleged actions of few would imply.  We should not trivialize nor diminish the severity of what has taken place; but we should focus on something positive, so that we may collectively begin to heal.   This is about helping children - in addition to helping kids with cancer, why not donate a portion of THON funds raised to preventing child abuse?

A sad chapter of PSU history is currently being written; it is up to us to write the next chapter.  If we stand together as one Penn State community, 400,000 living alumni strong, we can do anything.  It starts here with a click of the mouse: http://www.thon.org/.  But just donating is not enough.  I’m sending this email to something like 75 people.  If all of us just donate $100, we won’t get very far.  Instead, I’m asking you to send this on to all the Penn State alums you know and encourage them to send it on to all the alums they know, and so on.  The key to what Jonathan and I are proposing is coming together as one community; and to do that we need to reach every one of our 400,000 alumni. 

Who knows where this idea will take us – and that is the point, it’s a grass roots idea, a platform for beginning the healing process, and a chance for us to begin to define our future.  We can do this…We are Penn State

Ryan Ehrlich, '04

Jonathan Englert '03

SIDENOTE: a psu identity crisis

I don't use this blog to talk about dating or politics.  Admittedly I have a lot of things to say about dating and sometimes wish I could shame people on here, I refrain because I have a job and morals. Despite probably having an opinion about everything, I don't talk politics because I don't feel passionately about it - good or bad - and so I don't offer up my take. I do though, like to share or boast about things close to my heart and things that make me, well, me.  


Much of what has become of me and what has shaped me into the woman and professional that I am is where I went to college.  I met my best friends there, my "sisters", and my future bridesmaids. It made the big world smaller, so much so that my first client straight out of college happened to be my PSU sorority sister from pledge classes earlier. We didn't spend the same time on campus together - but we had a connection. I have incredible memories.  I got a good education. A great education.  I got schooled in the classroom and outside the main campus.  I learned how to be on my own, to get along with way too many girls, to take responsibility for my actions and what I wanted to be.  


I learned about football.  Not only the rules, but what it means to belong to something beyond just the sport.  What it means when an entire state and beyond piles into a town with the common love, passion and obsession for a dynasty.  With a ruler who dedicated his life and savings to the school - and who just greeted a crowd of students outside his home to tell them that no matter what happens, he's proud of them.  But it was beyond football, as I'm not sure how much I'd love the sport if I wasn't a part of the Lion Pride.  It was about the institution.  What it means to wear those colors and be on that campus, even after you graduated years and years ago. Beyond the coach and the players.  More so about the people in the stands, the ones who came before them.  About standing next to your friends - even during some of the most losing seasons - and taking a look around.  This is what college is made of.  This is what the hundreds of thousands of PSU alums take with them when they leave.  This and an education, a head on their shoulders to take on the world.  A world where there are tons of others like them who understand.  It's why bars in NYC are packed every Saturday with people of all ages.  Why even on a weekend trip to Boston you can find the spot to meet your fellow alum and cheer on a surprisingly decent freshman team.  Why you shout randomly at the person on the street wearing a PSU hat (who clearly did not go there) or shadily want to high five the stranger at the gym wearing the Lion logo.  Why you feel bad for people who couldn't possibly know what you're talking about - what's it like to have gone, and belong, to Penn State. Why my coworker and I share a Nittany Lion head print out between our two desks.  Why I have to reserve at least one vacation day for a trip back to Happy Valley.  Brainwashed to bleed blue and white, but proud of it all the same.  


That's why I can't look away from the coverage, the tweets, the Facebook status posts about what is now shaming my alma mater. And rightfully so.  My heart goes out to those victims and their families.  For no one should have their innocence taken from them in such a horrible way.  That that person who caused such harm was a member of the Lion Pride is shameful ... and if you asked all of the students and alumni, they would agree.  I feel like my reputation has been stripped too.  That I might have gotten to see JoePa gracefully step down from a reign like none other.  That I'd cry tears of sadness and joy for he had gone out on top.  Even if he goes down in his old fashion ways with a fight ... that will not be the case.  I find myself reaching out to college friends to see that they're just as confused and upset as I am.  Am I allowed to let it affect me in this way?


Graduating from a top communications school and working in PR gives me license to also be ashamed of the crisis management and PR working for the school.  That the latest posts on Twitter and Facebook are highlighting football and our women's soccer team (and again, rightfully so), but not acknowledging public sentiment or providing real-time updates on the progression of this scandal.  Penn State is one of the biggest brands in this country and yet officials are burying their heads.  It's the alumni - Matt Millen, Adam Tallifero, my friends.  Those who are offering their support to the families, to JoePa and to fellow students/graduates who don't know what to make of this spectacle.  I'm seeing what I always knew PSU is really all about - the people.  Those who not only rally around a football empire, but around cause.  Helping kids with cancer.  Finding justice for an unthinkable act that took place on our campus.


I want so badly for PSU to beat Nebraska this Saturday, but I'm not sure why or what it changes. I've wanted it so badly leading up to this because my favorite college game as a student was against Nebraska.  The news around the campus that day in 2002 was that an NU hat had been stolen by fans and left with a ransom note.  That the Lions tweaked out an unexpected win.  That next day I woke up with no voice and black and blues all over from jumping up and down in the stadium.  These are the memories I hoped to hold on to.  I am so interested to see as many of my friends, fellow alumni, head back to campus on Saturday for the game and what they thought would be an awesome weekend.  They will have their boyfriends and husbands in tow, who have never been to their alma mater and never fully understood what they are so obsessed with.  Will they still be excited to show them the ropes?  I don't know - but I think a lot of Penn Staters, myself included, are going through an identity crisis right now. 


You get a lot of slack about it from others.  Your parents who aren't sure how their tuition dollars led to an obsessed child.  Professionals are sure you just haven't gotten over college yet ... and they're certain you're too old for it now. It's a strange phenomenon where your college becomes your identity.  Not only does it shape who you are, but it connects you to where you're going and to all those who went there with you.  It's not to take from the victims of this story, because their struggles are ones I could not dare to imagine.  But I can imagine that my fellow Nittany Lions are just as upset, shamed and confused as I, and yet, still proud to be a Penn Stater.  Because WE ARE is a lot of things to a lot of people, and I don't want to let this ruin or lose what PSU means to me.

-HMOH