SIDENOTE: are you a maid?

With an office move downtown, I've been stripped of my office walls (back to cubeland) and so my coworkers will now have to partake in all things I tend to talk to myself about aloud.  Like this gem of an email I got this am:


Subject:  Are you a maid?


Hey there,
I'm reaching out to you because Thumbtack is getting a lot of job leads for maids, and I'm looking for another maid who is interested in taking on more clients.

After checking out your website I think you are a great fit for Thumbtack and I'd love to start sending you job leads. Please fill out a few details about your skills and rates, and I'll start forwarding you potential new clients.

If you have any questions about what Thumbtack can provide, please don't hesitate to ask.

Thanks,
Heather
--
Subject: RE: Are you a moron?


Oh hey there Heather,


Unfortunately, no, I'm not a maid. They didn't offer that major where I went to college to get my higher education. Instead I work in PR and write a blog about the millions of weddings I'm in or have to attend. You'd know that if you read down say ... four seconds ... or clicked on the "About handMAID of HONOR" tab.  MAID of HONOR, get it? Like in a wedding - not in a person's house with rubber gloves.  SIDENOTE:  I should say for my readers that I truly respect housekeepers and maids.  I just don't respect recruiters who have no idea what they're doing.  If I had done that to an editor, I'd hope she'd ridicule me on Glamour.com also.


Anyways, Heather, as requested, I'd love to share a few details about my skills and rates.

• I am a huge college football fan; Penn State. Doesn't necessarily get the windows spotless though.  Back in the day I could be paid with a red Solo cup, Smirnoff and cranberry juice.
• I can name a nailpolish color with the best of them.  Apologies, skill not suited in the laundry room.
• I often manage text conversations and witty remarks on behalf of myself and clients (read: friends). Standard text msg rates apply.
• You should see the handMAID, get it?, table cards, aprons, spoons and cork toppers I've created.  I'm still working out those rates.

No questions about Thumbtack, thanks.  Let me know if you have any questions about my blog title and if I can start referring you to clients also.

Thanks much,

HMOH