SIDENOTE: free fallin'

Finally some planned low key weekends spent roaming the city that I love - birthday and engagement celebrations, weekend strolls, trips to Chelsea Market for bread and the Union Square farmers market to get fresh flowers ... I have time for the Fall TV line-up, plus more time to think about random nonsense and record it here.

• In the coming weeks when pedicures are worthless and the big sweaters come out, I'll be taking IN all Fall has to offer and likely taking OUT my pants (no, I mean the seams) from last year.
• I told my coworker yesterday to ask me in the morning if I went to the gym last night and if I didn't - to judge me.
• The man who lives in the apartment below me has already complained that I "wear high heels around" and it bothers him (he actually cornered my friend in the elevator to have her relay the message). Since I've been in the apartment prob a total of 5 days since moving in, I can tell we're going to be fast friends.
• How much does it suck when you're flipping through channels and you catch the tail-end of a great movie? I caught the Fourth Quarter of For Love and Basketball last night. Like it couldn't have waited until I had sat down and found it to start? 
• Last night I also took on building a bookshelf at 10 p.m.. DUMB. Especially after I screwed the shelves on backwards and was too tired to care.
• Caught up with my baby brother yesterday who is at the University of Arizona (bless his soul).  After he offered kind words about how PSU got "merked beyond belief" (kids these days), I asked him what he was up to:

(3:05:23 PM) ME: what are you up to? [told you]
(3:06:00 PM) BRO: im just chillen in my morning robe figuring out if i want to go to class or not... [HMOH NOTE: please excuse the fact that he's on PST; it's still noon and not technically morning] 
(3:06:08 PM) ME: aw my poor baby [read: sarcasm]
(3:06:13 PM) ME: do you need help with that?
(3:06:25 PM) BRO: nah i think ive made up my mind [sarcasm is hereditary]
(3:06:31 PM) ME: and what did you conclude?
(3:06:45 PM) BRO: not gonna go to oceanography, but gonna go to my 2 classes after that
(3:06:51 PM) ME: you're a good person
(3:07:00 PM) ME: who clearly values the importance of underwater sea life
(3:07:03 PM) BRO: 2/3 aint bad
(3:16:54 PM) BRO: ima go make some breakfast and play a game of madden [HMOH NOTE: he's not a hoodlum;  he just plays one on-line]


Over today before it's even started. Happy Wednesday!


-HMOH

NAT GEO WILD Part II: saving the psu tailgater

As much as it pains me to put a foot voluntarily on this blog - it was necessary.  very necessary. If I thought a rough voice and Monday morning bad hair day was a serious tailgating injury, nothing compares to Ashley's new Fall look - the black boot. Welcome home PSU tailgater.  You Southern Lady, you.  Here's a note to work from home for two weeks and only partake in light activities on account of your severely sprained toes. 

How'd it happen you ask?  Not really sure, but the doctor may or may not have prescribed "lay off the alcohol."

-HMOH

NAT GEO WILD: penn state vs. alabama

If I don't see an airport or plane for the remainder of the year, I'd be ok with that. At least for now.  I'm without a voice and a little under the weather given my recent trip to the South.  It's been one of those days when I've questioned if I'm getting too old for this.  LIE. For starters, the plane to Birmingham on Thursday evening seated about 50 passengers - of which 40 were dressed in blue and white. There was an initial attempt at a "WE ARE" chant when we were told to put our tray tables in the upright position - and not surprising, the flight attendant informed the group we were out of alcohol with about an hour left to go.  If Penn State was headed down for the football massacre, they weren't about to do it sober.

With five of us in town for the weekend, we got the private tour of Birmingham from Alabama native (and our gracious host) Jennie.  Her five bedroom + sun room home is incredible with floor to ceiling doors, winding stairs and perfectly decorated with antiques (and a rent less than my studio apartment; JEALOUS).  There were burlap sacks with our initials waiting in the foyer upon arrival with "Welcome down South" items: Sweet Tea, Edgar's Bakery lemon squares, Southern Lady magazine, pickle-flavored chips (my favorite) and napkins that read:  "What happens tonight ... goes on Facebook tomorrow."  Needless to say, the local tour didn't disappoint. 

We did some Friday morning shopping, picked up $140 worth of alcohol for Saturday and visited Saw's BBQ (the wait-staff was less than appreciative of us being PSU fans).  I did my best at an attempt to eat BBQ with the chicken+broccoli tater. At night we saw a great view of the city from The Club (pronounced: THEE Club), were treated to free appetizers (a second dinner) at Bottega, hit up a local watering hole and then made our way home for a pickle chips and cheddar Whales party.  We soon passed out to prepare for an early morning start time.

After an impressive breakfast of cheese grits, bacon, biscuits and potato casserole - we chugged bloody marys, rushed out the door, realized we forgot the cooler with all our alcohol, drove back home to retrieve (PRIORITIES), and showed up panicked to catch the bus from B'ham to Tuscaloosa. Our ride to the game in a police-escorted bus with Penn State's President was most impressive.  The folks waiting on us (we were the last a'holes to arrive) were probably less than impressed. Alabama fans and cars decked in Crimson flags pulled to the side of the interstate as 30 of the Birmingham Alumni Association's older, more mature members (and six not-so-recent-grads) rode into town.

After a long day of football, trip to the stadium, and 45-minute ride turned 4-hour trip back home (let's just say Jennie's dad will never forget me) we returned to Jennie's with an SEC football game under our belts.  We ended this past weekend on Sunday with a "breakfast" of real Southern fare (perfect for a hangover since you got to choose what sides you wanted) and rode back to NYC with a bunch of tired and disgruntled Penn State fans who weren't about to request any alcohol on the flight home.

I'm all mac-n-cheesed out, could do for a solid 15 hour nap tonight and have been saying "y'all" quite a bit.  And fine, we lost. I know - but although the Tide is the apparent winner with a 24-3 final score, here is a look at the additional match-ups for the Lions vs. the Tide from this past weekend ...  I unofficially declare Penn State the winner. 

PENN STATE VS. ALABAMA

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 11

FOOTBALL

Winner: Alabama

We knew it was going to happen - let's be serious, we got spanked.  But even a caller into the local ESPN radio station was impressed by the number of fans that showed up to have a good time, admitting defeat prior to play.  We were in the bible belt, but it was going to take more than a Christmas miracle this year to beat the #1 team.

HOSPITALITY

Winner: Alabama

In my years at Penn State - when we were far from a consistently winning team - I saw less than nice PSU fans tell Ohio State fans where to go or steal an innocent Nebraska fan's family heirloom hat and offer up a ransom note, not to mention a student section sporting t-shirts like "F*ck Miami".  At the Arby's outside the stadium we were kindly and genuinely (mean it) told to get home safely.  Friends trying to make their way from the game to the bars in Tuscaloosa were offered rides from strangers, and took them.  One happened to be a past convict passing through, but he was hospitable all the same.

FLIP CUP

Winner: Penn State

After making our way through a bunch of tents in unfamiliar territory (stare downs), our group dressed in navy blue/white sundresses (not anything compared to the sorority gals in heels - DUMB) and sporting game day buttons found ourselves among the UA fraternity folk playing a friendly game of flip cup.  Someone suggested a Bama (boys) vs. PSU (girls) competition not knowing that although they have a top-ranked football program, we all graduated with a degree in drinking games - I mean our mascot got a DUI and is on probation.  We left while on top, passed by our fellow fans and headed to meet friends at a Penn State tailgate.

TAILGATING

Winner: Penn State

I'm not going to even try to paint a picture of what the Penn State tailgate brought.  The few photos here will not do it justice, as I refused to post a pic of Ashley's feet in the ice-filled baby pool filled with beer and who knows what else.  Someone at the airport best referred to the confused and enamoured Alabama fans who made their way over to see what was going as "spectators of a National Geographic special on 'the exotic Penn State tailgaters.'  There were a few complimentary "Wow, you all know how to party" comments passed - and the onsite radio DJ professed on air "Those are the best looking Penn Staters I've seen all day" as we walked by - but really it was more people standing around in utter shock and disbelief at what was transpiring.

 

And the best thing about it - we are alumni.  Five, six, some even more years out.  The only ones with disposable income to make our way down to the game.  You should see our current students or recent graduates at a frat-tastic tailgate. They're an even rarer breed and worthy of a series that would rival 'Shark Week'.

STADIUM
Winner: Penn State/Alabama
It was cute when all the nice Bama fans told us we'd be shocked to see the stadium and all their 100,000 fan seating has to offer.  A short mention that our stadium is bigger made them quiet down.  But to the Tide's credit - they're a lively group of fans whose "Roll Tide" echoes through the stadium as much as a "WE ARE" or quick play of "Zombie Nation".  Penn Staters abandoned their usual chant and replaced it with "sorry for partying" this weekend. I'd much prefer a Beaver Stadium game, but will give credit where credit is due.

oh, and if I wasn't convinced it's the best place on earth to spend four years (and countless hours of college football) ... here's one more:


WELL-ROUNDED PROSPECTS, LIFE SKILLS, CORPORATE CACHE
Winner:  Penn State
Despite our wild performance on the ground of the University of Alabama, we are still a sought after alumni crowd. I got my current job a few years ago without a voice after returning from the 2007 Ohio State game, and a recent Wall Street Journal piece reported (according to 479 recruiters), that public universities are producing "the most prepared and well-rounded prospects for entry-level jobs, with better life skills to fit in to their corporate cultures and prosper."  Penn State topped the list.


While I'm clearly past my entry-level days, let this be a lesson to you all:  tailgating is likely a life skill worth perfecting.  And let this cold and sore throat be a lesson to me:  you're getting too old for this.


-HMOH

SIDENOTE: alabama bound

Finger nails are painted blue.  Navy/white sundress is packed.  Monogrammed tervis tumbler awaits.
This Yankee is headed down South.  LET'S GO STATE!

HMOH on the left coast

Eight days, 5 airports, 6 flights, 4 states and 8 cities later - and I've returned back to the East Coast for two days ... only to leave for the South and Alabama this evening to witness a meeting of the Penn State Nittany Lions vs. the Alabama Tide (what kind of a mascot is that anyways?).  My Northern charm has been packed, along with my classy tailgating outfit (a first) ... and I expect nothing but Southern grace for my friends and I as we begin our binge drinking and tailgating early on the Saturday morning.  Make that 7 airports, 5 states and 10 cities by Sunday.

Our Sweet Ride

And though it was the result of a cancelled wedding in the Bahamas - the trip to California was amazing!!  I didn't rock the bridesmaid dress as promised, but it didn't stop me from packing 50 lbs worth of outfits (of which I wore about 40%).  I landed in San Fran, but my luggage didn't.  After "calmly" talking with the baggage claim guy, Chris - who now has my cell number and was hoping for an invite out that evening - my stuff was confirmed on the next flight in.  We circled the airport for an hour in our sweet blue Ford Mustang convertible, and grabbed (more like heavy-lifted) my baggage. Chris asked me if I was coming back, I explained "yes, because I need to fly home" and we were on our way.  


Our first night in town we checked out Bourbon and Branch - a supposedly hot spot speakeasy that requires a reservation and 'password'.  The doofus who answered the door looked like the gatekeeper in the Wizard of Oz and let us in to an unpacked, highly unexcitable bar.  After being hit on by the doorman, Nick was served tough whiskey in a teeny cocktail glass and we were quickly over it. 


The coast was scenic and just beautiful.  We leisurely made our way down from San Francisco to Half Moon Bay, the boardwalk in Santa Cruz and Monterey.  In Monterey we went whale watching - awesome for the first two blue whales and that was enough.  My lips were blue by the end of the trip and you could find me hugging the metal pole near the Captain's hut to keep warm.   We then headed past strawberry fields, artichoke farms and wildlife on our way down to San Simeon.  As always, I was attacked by numerous birds and prayed I'd see a whale or sea otter eat one.  I also had a stare down with a weird looking squirrel that was questionably foaming at the mouth. With the top down - then back up because I was cold - then back down again, it'd be safe to say I had little to no good hair days.  


If we wanted to crash weddings there were plenty to be had between Monterey and the 17 mile drive in Carmel by the Sea.  Guest chairs (in white) were positioned in front of hanging trees and on the waterfront. It was here I passed the most heinous wedding dress I've ever seen in my life.  Hot magenta with more toule than an 80s ballroom Barbie had to offer.  In fact, if I had suggested putting this on one my Barbie dolls as a child she likely would have come to life and ripped it off.  


Day 4 we toured Hearst Castle, an awesome reminder that I will never be that rich .. and an equally great reminder that I see people from my High School seriously everywhere I go.  If it wasn't at a phone booth in Amsterdam or climbing an olive grove path in Cinqueterra, Italy ... then it was getting off the bus with me on my tour of William Randolph Hearst's extravagant home in California.


We then made our way back up to San Francisco and stopped along the road to witness "molting" season for the native elephant seals.  Frommers referred to them as "decidedly ugly mammals" - but clearly Frommers has not seen some of the mammals that roam the streets of New York City.  That's decided. We had a great dinner with friends back in the Bay Area and woke up the next morning to bike the Golden Gate Bridge over to Sausalito.  In addition to the people watching, great company and scenic views ... strolling in Sausalito was my favorite part.  I also found myself strangely in the mood for a Pepperidge Farm cookie.


If you plan to head out to the Pacific Coast Highway - I can recommend the following:

• Slanted Door restaurant (Asian fushion, San Fran) - make reservations ahead of time
• Paint Ladies (San Fran) - the Tanners and Uncle Jesse can be found picnicking atop the hill
• Sam's Chowder House (Half Moon Bay) - eat the lobster roll, voted "Top 5 Sandwiches by the Today Show"; sure it was back in 2007 ... whatever.
• Monterey Whale Watching Tours - pack layers and jackets, and if not ... be prepared to buy a sweet windbreaker embroidered with sea otters.
• Hearst Castle Tours (tour 1) - The second most visited place in all of California next to Disneyland - the tour is short, sweet and to the point; reservations recommended for summer busy season.  Also, putting "Citizen Kane" on my movie queue.

So with that ... I'm back on the road to 'Bama and then am looking forward to sticking around NYC, exploring my new neighborhood ... and kicking off the Fall.


Thanks for being patient while I took a vacation as the HMOH.  A big congrats to Amy and Drew on their Pacific Coast wedding this past weekend!  Oh, and one more thing .. LET'S GO STATE!

Painted Ladies - San Francisco

Half Moon Bay

Pacific Coast Highway - Big Sur

-HMOH

SIDENOTE: a homeless romantic

• I got picked up by yet another homeless person this week.  I've had my knee kicked out by a homeless woman.  I've offered an untouched quesadilla to the squatter outside my old apartment and been told he doesn't eat meat (he later asked for my bag of Goldfish).  I've been punched by the PSU bum who frequents College Ave and hangs outside McClanahan's (you know, the one in the Nittany Lion trenchcoat), yelled at for not giving a hungry drunk my lunch, and been told on the subway platform by another crazy that he was going to shove a cross up my ... well, whatever. This week's encounter was by a 4 foot 10' man whose left eye was looking over his left shoulder and who I'm pretty sure was foaming at the mouth.  He approached me by saying I must be a model, proceeded to do a mock photo shoot of me (threw up a little in my mouth) and somehow scored a few bucks out of the deal. 
• So they were filming 30 Rock outside my office today.  Craft services look awesome and I took a field trip downstairs to see the scene.  They updated an old storefront to look like a Strip Club.  All the girls walking past in their hotpants got a "Stripper," "Stripper," "Stripper" from me. I tried to snap a shot of Tracy Morgan (and I did) but then realized I don't really care.
• It's Friday, which is that much more exciting because it marks my week out of the office.  I'm Scotsdale, AZ bound for a work priority, take a redeye back to NYC for a day of packing  and seeing my family - and then without further ado am off to California for a 5 day coastal highway cruise. can.not.wait.

I get TV and internet in my apartment finally tomorrow ... so I hope to be in touch before I head out.  In the event that I'm just too busy (or I've found myself swept away by a homeless romantic), Happy Friday - Happy Labor Day - and Happy End of Summer!

-HMOH

20-something dresses, jobs, apartments, etc.

I got my own place, and quite frankly - I feel like a grown up.  I've come a long way from when I was moving in to my first big city apartment. I was still receiving Christmas presents from the parentals like a new Brita, corning ware and pots/pans (this was not at all enviable by my brothers opening their PlayStations that year). Now I tell my mom I think something's cute ... and she says "It is. You should buy it."  Suddenly it's not as cute anymore. But does getting your own place mean you've finally made it?  Back in the 70s the average age to get married was 21 for women and 23 for men ... and that defined that you'd crossed off some big things on your checklist. I make checklists all the time - but mine consist of "pay electric bill" and "buy new dress for Alabama tailgate."


If you haven't yet read the recent "What is it about 20-Somethings" article in the New York Times, you should. Or don't - whatever you want.  It's another look at the changing of the decades and why we're so different from our parents.  We didn't have to walk 10 miles to school, we were spoiled and privileged, blah.  But it's not just the economy we have to blame for our generation of 20-somethings taking more time to grow up. The shift in priorities - in getting a career before a family, in wanting to see the world, in accepting an unpaid internship and accepting that your parents are going to have support you for a few more years.  I find my gal friends and I are always trying to blame something for the thousands of d-bag guys who somehow are allergic to relationships until they're "in their 30s". I'm still convinced there's a manual floating around that they're handed senior year of high school - 'Things to Do Before You can Commit".  But we're grown-ups.  I believe that.  We just do it on our own time.


After years and years of growing up with our childhood friends, and being classified as part of the "freshman class", "sophomores", etc. - we break apart on our own timeline.  Even among close social circles we find ourselves on different paths and at different rates.  It's why I'm the Maid of Honor at best friends' weddings, standing next to another best friend that is the Matron of Honor.  Same age, same college - she just goes home to a snoring husband and a dual income.  And so it goes ... and eventually you hope that you'll catch up, your friends won't be too fat when they have to be your bridesmaids, and their kids will be willing to babysit yours.


If you asked my 9-year-old self playing Barbies and house, a 20-something was old as hell and should probably be a wife and Mom.  Listen, that little girl thought spandex and Keds were all the rage ... and she'd be right again this year. But the NYT articles said we're getting married older:  the average age for marriage is 28 for men and 26 for women.  Case in point, I've always been very above average. 


Even better are our parents - who worry about their single children - because "at your age I had one kid and one on the way".  Or the mom and avid reader (Hi Jean - can't wait to see you again soon!) who sent along this recent Lemondrop article in response to the Times.  Lemondrop.com took the hard facts, and then asked their readers to see how true they were.  Turns out it's completely normal to be single, or co-habitating and enjoying life at this age. Here's what the Lemondrop folks reported:

• 28% are having a hard time meeting Mr. Good Enough, let alone Mr. Right. These people likely live in New York City.
• 19% are currently dating; 28% are living with a significant other, 26% have roommates, and only 13% are currently married. I've probably been in or attended about 10% of their weddings.
• 28% of 20-somethings are currently living with their parents.  I'm going to go out here on a limb and say that these are the ones that are contributing to the 28% having a hard time meeting Mr. Good Enough.
• According to the NYT, one-third of people in their 20s move to a new address every year. Lemondrop found out that the average 20-something has changed addresses five times this decade. I hope they didn't use the Man with the Van to ruin their stuff.
• And despite a career environment that can be somewhat tumultuous, the average 20-something has already had six jobs this decade! I just call this overachieving.

So what did I make of these articles? Nothing really.  I've always said that after college you are on your own - you don't share milestones with your best friends ... you just share in their special times and them with you. Come on, it'd be rude to have your wedding on the same day as your best friend. They get their day. You get your own (even if it's 10 years later).  And that's cool. 


-HMOH