SIDENOTE: Why? Thursday

I ask a lot of the same questions.  Like why do I always have an umbrella when it doesn't rain and then have to buy a $12 one from Duane Reade that's about to break because it's raining and I'm sans protection?  Or why do some people get to be happy? (what?) Or why does the Summer prompt no time for the gym with massive eating and drinking binges, plus bikinis.   Some things I guess I'll just never know.  But in the meantime, I drop a few rando Thursday sidenoted questions for ya.

• Why would it be the case that my wedding invitation to Jess and Paul's wedding got returned to sender when I live legit across the street from them? And why did I put the response card back in the mail to be funny?
• How awkward is it when a cashier says, "enjoy" and you say "you too"?  You're not about to share your tuna melt with her.
• Why does seltzer water explode like every. single. time. you open a new bottle? 
• and why must I continue to write back to chain emails from the morning after a Tuesday night out and say "XX you were missed, my opportunity to stop into the pizza place under my building, however, was not."
• And why did someone at Groupon think this subject title was appropriate?  Besides the fact that backpacks are inappropriate always - this just seems like a really great deal only for a horndog high school boy.

• Why do homeless people feel like they can tell you they hope you get hit by a taxi? I just hope you get a job and some money to eat or buy drugs. 
• Why do you continue to write senseless stuff on Facebook and why haven't I defriended you earlier?
• Why are there consistently stories/emails/texts from my single ladies that confirm men are just undeniably ridiculous beings.  Like when a friend traveling on business had a chance meeting at the airport, was bought a cup of coffee (even she had to turn down a cocktail at 7am) and asked to make plans for the upcoming week.  How come after that she got a text message saying, "it was really great to meet you. Too bad we didn't have more time!"  it was followed up with "Too bad we aren't on the same flight. I've never had sex on a plane and quite frankly I wanted to tell u to go in the bathroom and take ur pants down lol... Ur hot!"
• And why can't people get UR and U'RE right?  I mean use proper English people.
• And no, she did not go on the date with him. It bothered me that wasn't a question also.

Alright, that will be all. Hope you have a questionably great Thursday, email subject line or in-transit encounter.  And of course, feel free to share them below. 

-HMOH