- The gym scale could live up to the doctor's office scale. I've just worked out and you're going to disappoint me? Hell, I show up to the doctor's office and it doesn't matter what kind of ailments I might have - I just lost three pounds.
- OBGYN offices had "men visiting" hours - not timed to when everyone else is there. Dude, I know you're here with your wife, girlfriend, baby mama, and I know you're new to this - but quit staring at me. I'm here for a routine check-up. Swear it.
- All men and women could continue to dream up ridiculous reasons to host a drinking fiasco. Like the "I Had a Dream" barcrawl going on in Hoboken this weekend … and the awesome (and politically way incorrect) photo that accompanied the invitation.
- Dinner didn't often result in smelling like a restaurant a full day after you've left it (and yes, I shower). No need for the twenty-four hour reminder that the banana spring rolls you had for dessert were deep fried.
- There was more time for girl talk - it was a good day after yesterday's meeting where a friend took half an hour to get through all the Chinese food she ordered in for dinner on a date, spent 4 seconds relaying information about the sex, and excitedly shared she scored leftovers for lunch today. "Times is rough" she said. Touche girl, stretch those sleepover dollars.
- Scientists couldn't just change the horoscope line-up because the earth is wobbly and all. Ugh, so you're saying that I now have to go back and see how compatible I am with all those signs you told me I wasn't compatible with? Hmmm, this explains why that relationship didn't work out ...
- Rags to riches stories like Ted Williams, the man with the golden voice, didn't turn into "Celebrity Rehab" in a few short days. Bet the Caveliers and Kraft wish they didn't follow that dream.
- I can start my four day weekend. Dream.Come.True.
Wishing everyone a happy holiday weekend (and if you don't have Monday off - I say, keep dreaming!)
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