HMOH tip #131: how to find out if he's engaged

You're welcome,
HMOH

practice safe text

There are a few things I'd make a professional job if I wasn't busy having a real job.  Scrapbooker, nail polish color namer, bridesmaid dress picker outer and text advisor.  I'm often tapped by friends and acquaintances (twice today in fact) to help craft the least committal, but funny or meaningful text to another.  How much would peeps be willing to pay to have me on call and would it cover my NYC apartment rent plus shopping addiction? I wonder.

On the same note - here's one that warmed my heart (in an uber cheesy way). Confirmed with females and males alike, shared by my blogger friend Just B - this is the truth and nothing but the truth, so help you text message gods.  

Want a solid few hours of secondhand embarrassment?  Check out damnyouautocorrect.com.  If you are an iPhone user or have ever had a conversation with an iPhone user, beware.  I may or may not have cried tears of joy at my desk. 

-HMOH

wahhhh ... happy friday!

"It's kind of like a disease to Snook for love. It's worse than a staph infection.  It just keeps eating at you and eating at you and when you then don't find a guy you just get more miserable and more depressed. And it's just not a good time …"

Wahhhhh ... Happy Friday!  

I'll be resting off this cold with some friends and then a home cooked meal from Mommy.  If you're out trying to have a good time ... good luck snookin' this weekend.


-HMOH

HMOH tip #120: get framed!

Photobooths have been a great idea for a wedding reception.  Print two photo sets, take one home and paste the other in a scrapbook for the couple to keep. LOVE.


But let's take that a step further to OBSESSED. I share with you the newest craze in party photos! Throwing yourself a wedding?  Get yourself framed! Relatively low cost to set up outside the party room: wallpaper backdrop tacked up against the wall + 24x30 frame with glass removed + digital camera + dress up accessories = guaranteed good time.


I first saw the great idea from Amanda and Dustin's St. Louis wedding photos. Loved Amanda' backdrop (matched her bridal party colors perfectly) and the smiles on all her family and friends' faces as they mounted themselves in a portrait.

A family affair.

Mustaches are a MUST.

I'm planning to break it out at the next potluck … or hell, a Saturday night (I need a new Facebook profile pic if I'm being honest).  

But it's not only for adult party people. Here's a "Happy 1st Birthday!" to Joanna (I happened to be her Aunt and Uncle's MOH)!  With Mom as a wedding planner, J's trendy from the start with a frame (and sweet smile) at her jazzy first birthday party …

:)


-HMOH

friends don't let friends buy bridesmaid dresses

Don't worry about finding a bridesmaid dress that you can "wear again" - you don't have to. Rent the Runway isn't just for wedding guests anymore ... 

-HMOH

SIDENOTE: i had a dream

I had a dream that:

• The gym scale could live up to the doctor's office scale. I've just worked out and you're going to disappoint me?  Hell, I show up to the doctor's office and it doesn't matter what kind of ailments I might have - I just lost three pounds.  
• OBGYN offices had "men visiting" hours - not timed to when everyone else is there.  Dude, I know you're here with your wife, girlfriend, baby mama, and I know you're new to this - but quit staring at me. I'm here for a routine check-up. Swear it.
• All men and women could continue to dream up ridiculous reasons to host a drinking fiasco.  Like the "I Had a Dream" barcrawl going on in Hoboken this weekend … and the awesome (and politically way incorrect) photo that accompanied the invitation.
• Dinner didn't often result in smelling like a restaurant a full day after you've left it (and yes, I shower).  No need for the twenty-four hour reminder that the banana spring rolls you had for dessert were deep fried.
• There was more time for girl talk - it was a good day after yesterday's meeting where a friend took half an hour to get through all the Chinese food she ordered in for dinner on a date, spent 4 seconds relaying information about the sex, and excitedly shared she scored leftovers for lunch today.  "Times is rough" she said.  Touche girl, stretch those sleepover dollars.
• Scientists couldn't just change the horoscope line-up because the earth is wobbly and all.  Ugh, so you're saying that I now have to go back and see how compatible I am with all those signs you told me I wasn't compatible with?  Hmmm, this explains why that relationship didn't work out ...
• Rags to riches stories like Ted Williams, the man with the golden voice, didn't turn into "Celebrity Rehab" in a few short days. Bet the Caveliers and Kraft wish they didn't follow that dream.
• I can start my four day weekend. Dream.Come.True.

Wishing everyone a happy holiday weekend (and if you don't have Monday off - I say, keep dreaming!)

-HMOH

SIDENOTE: resolve this.

Let me start by saying that I had a good run with The Bachelorette recaps.  It was great to know someone on the show and it was awesome to have all the comments and accolades that came with the season.  So I'll take this moment to first apologize to you, fans, as I can not get myself to be a part of Brad's season.  It's not because I have anything against the fact that I don't know anyone on the show (actually, I recognized one of the gals who went home on night one), or that he didn't pick any of the girls the first time around.  Seriously, good for you Womack. "Break up" on your resume looks a lot cooler than "divorce".  


Instead I was a cool chick last night and stayed up way past bedtime to finish the BCS Championship game, all the while admiring Oregon's sick neon socks and "Magic Eye" helmets. Guess fashion doesn't win football games.


It's 1.11.11 and I'm trying to reflect on the start of my year. I've made a sick amount (pun not initially intended) of appointments for doctors to make sure I'm healthy and set to live another decade - and I'm still trying to resolve a few things:

• Retirement can not come soon enough.
• That 5 lbs you're trying to lose, try not eating.
• You are not 23 anymore. Hell, you're not even close. A night out with friends now leads to you walking into your old apartment building, hugging your old doorman, sleeping in your old bedroom (chill, my besties still live there) and throwing up in your old bathroom.  Eating your weight in french fries (see point #2) at your old diner and rocking a subway ride of shame in your old roommate's sperrys.
• When the subway pulls up and no one is in the car, not because it's your lucky day.  Because a homeless bum is rotting in that car and lying across a bench.  Everyone has gotten off four stops early to avoid suffocation.  I call this a "bum rush" and a shitty start to your morning.
• Your guys friends read this site and occasionally admit to it. Then they send links to friends and say "pass this along for our bridezilla blog".
• All girl-attended brainstorms, even within a professional setting, will somehow take a turn for the R-rated worst.  
• Eventually, you will get sick of the song "Marry You" or iTunes will throw up on your computer and ban you for life. Until then, play that bitch on repeat.

Bruno Mars - Bruno Mars - Marry You

Powered by mp3skull.com


-HMOH


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make that 9!

2011. Bring. It. On.


Snow still messy on the ground, too many people are at the gym lying to themselves that this is the year and taking treadmills from the rest of us, but more importantly ...  love is in the air ... and it's magical.  Like Disney Princess magical.


You know your oldest friend? The one who likely lived down the block. The one your mom became best friends with her mom so everything in life, including family vacations and carpooling, could be easier?  The one that you had to share your Barbie dolls with, said your first curse word to, had drive you to school because your birthday was later.  The one you share too many inside jokes with that you can't remember what they mean anymore. The one that rang you first when she had her first kiss, met "Mr. Right", got heart broken by "Mr. Riiighhtt" ... and the one who would call you first (after her parents, I guess) when she gets engaged.  That person for me is Jackie. We grew up together ... and any man that signed up to be her forever was getting me along for the ride (and for better or worse, probably getting my mother too).


Ringing in the new year with my friends I quickly began crying at the dinner table.  I got a text before the stroke of midnight that said, " Promised you I'd let you know ... I'm letting you know."  Adam obeyed my threat of needing to be the first to know. My oldest friend was getting engaged!


This past weekend, on a trip to "drop Adam's friend off at the airport", Jackie got swept away to the most magical of places (a favorite of hers) - Disney World.  After a twitching eye indicating something was up (and let's just say 5 years of waiting for the proposal), Adam popped the question at Mexico in Epcot Center.  The very place they were both adopted from, a special bond that initially brought them together. 


If I'm being honest (I am), the ring was worth the wait too.


Adding another wedding to my 2011 list (spoke to soon at 8), as well as a bridesmaid role (if she thinks I'm waiting for her to ask me, she's wrong).  


Best wishes and lots of love to the ladies who were made to feel like Princesses these past few days. Congrats Jach and Adam! Congrats Mal and Andy! Congrats Nikki and Matt! 


Oh ... and 2011, I'm about to own you.


-HMOH