SIDENOTE: turkey taco tuesday, hold the turkey tacos

• A special birthday shout out to my friend (and reader) Lauren!  Want to get some tips on traveling the globe or a taste of being in love with New York City - check out her site Travel Bug Bites.
• I have been trying to return a purchase via UPS unsuccessfully for three weeks now.  By trying, I mean I carried it to work and realized we don't get UPS service, left it there for two weeks because I was too lazy to carry it back and then went to the UPS store this morning only to find out it doesn't open until 9 a.m.  Am I going to have to keep this dress I don't like?
• I got stink-bombed by a bouquet of tulips I've had in my room.  They were definitely on their way out and while I was putting on makeup this morning I was wondering how I smelled so bad having just got out of the shower.  I realized it was the vase next to me that reeked like bad breath on a Saturday morning after a night out ... (too much?)
• And to make matters worse, people on the NYC subway smell.  They smell really bad.
• As of late my horoscope (Virgo) on my iGoogle has been consistently miserable.  Telling me to overcome my hurdles, carry on and hang in there.  Listen lucky stars - please don't boss me around.  My mother always told me if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all.  

Anyways, it's Tuesday - starting in two weeks I'll be posting my Bachelorette Season 6 recap series.  Where better to talk Bachelorettes and Bachelors than the handMaid of Honor?  And what's more?  This gal is good friends with one of the bachelors this season (quick shot on couch across from 'Rated R') and has the inside scoop!!  Stay tuned ... 


-HMOH

honorable MAD MENtion

What's more quality television than Mad Men?  Maybe 16 and Pregnant, but that would require a different kind of announcement. Check out this  FREE save-the-date idea from WeddingChicks.com.  I'm thinking about using it for my next birthday - or sending it out ten years in advance.

While this is questionably classy for a wedding, it would serve as an awesome bat mitzvah theme or 'hey, i finally scored a boyfriend' announcement.
The site has some great DIY ideas and downloadable templates free-of-charge.  A great HMOH find if I do say so myself (and again, I do).


-HMOH

Holy Matrimugly

I love the idea of Etsy.com (I mean, it's listed in my Sites of Honor).  I've found some unique engagement gifts on the site and if you get it right, there are some really great items.  So that's cute, but this is funny: Regretsy.com - "Where DIY Meets WTF".


Check out this sweet Holy Matrimugly wedding dress, and check out the blog while you're at it (just come back here): 

-HMOH

wine to your motha

For those looking for a getaway from the hustle and bustle of the city to sip America's finest - a wacky (and I used that word lightly until yesterday) tour operator offers bus tours up to the Hudson Valley vineyards.  Despite popular belief and contest from the West Coast and Long Island, upstate New York is home to America's oldest vineyards and wineries - not to mention award winning blends.  Yesterday my friends and I treated our mothers to a wine bus tour ...


Twenty women from all corners of the tri-state area (friends, their mothers, aunts and sisters) hopped on The Little Wine Bus and headed up to Hudson Valley vineyards for some wine tasting in celebration of Mother's Day. Compared to the last time I took the LWB, there was a little more education and not enough 'tasting'. [Last time I had taken the tour we played catchphrase on a cliff and karaoke'd the whole ride home before a friend faceplanted in the middle of 9th Avenue]. 


We would have been much better off if we were a few more bottles deep when the "Little Wine Bus" proved to be the "Little Wine Bust" - breaking down on the way to the last vineyard.

Luckily there was enough sour cream + onion chips and electronic catchphrase to keep (most of) us happy until the taxis arrived.  Two hours later - a caravan of yellow cabs, a scenic route through Hicktown, NY and a dust storm, along with a driver that was hitting on my mother (read text msg: "ew mom, I think he's hitting on you" "if he touches me i'm going to SCREAM") - we made it to the last winery. Dismissing proper steps for wine sipping learned that morning, we knocked back about seven glasses of local blends and ciders, hoarded onto the bus after a LONG, LONG day ... and headed back to NYC.


Despite the detour and delay, it was a great way to spend a day with my mom and friends. 
Happy Mother's Day.
-HMOH

RueLaLame

I was headed out to meet a coworker in the lobby and go get a gel uni-ball pen for my new agenda/to-do book (whatever), and low and behold a RueLaLa.com email comes through saying that the Marc by Marc Jacobs sale had just started.  With only a few minutes before she was going to leave without me, I scrambled to purchase the bag that caught my eye ... 

(11:04:52 AM) jbucc: omg
(11:04:54 AM) jbucc: i need your help
(11:05:09 AM) Jilly K: yes dear
(11:05:11 AM) jbucc: can you run to my room and grab my wallet and read me the amex card?
(11:05:17 AM) jbucc: im ordering a bag on ruelala
((11:05:22 AM) jbucc: of course wouldnt have my cc
(11:05:34 AM) Jilly K: omg IM ordering a bag off rue lala
(11:05:35 AM) jbucc: take out the clear amex
(11:05:35 AM) Jilly K: hahhaa
(11:05:40 AM) jbucc: haha the navy marc jacobs??
(11:05:43 AM) Jilly K: haha YES
(11:05:45 AM) Jilly K: hahahhahahahah
(11:05:45 AM) jbucc: hahahahahaha
(11:05:50 AM) jbucc: hurry
(11:05:54 AM) jbucc: i cant have someone steal it
(11:06:05 AM) Jilly K: OMG
(11:06:10 AM) Jilly K: they already removed it from my bag
(11:06:15 AM) jbucc: stop it
(11:06:16 AM) Jilly K530: they cant do that
(11:06:22 AM) Jilly K530: there is a time limit
(11:06:23 AM) jbucc: ill order two
(11:06:29 AM) jbucc: give me your credit card
(11:06:30 AM) jbucc: or mine
(11:06:35 AM) Jilly K: one secnd
(11:06:48 AM) jbucc: ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
(11:06:51 AM) jbucc: they took it out of mine too
(11:06:53 AM) jbucc: bastards
(11:07:23 AM) Jilly K: UGHHH
(11:07:25 AM) Jilly K: i just got ur card
(11:07:38 AM) jbucc: bust
(11:07:47 AM) jbucc: i have to go get a new pen for my new agenda
(11:07:49 AM) jbucc: brb

My coworker graciously footed the bill for my Vision Micro 0.5 uni-ball.

-HMOH

SIDENOTE: you know it's been a good week when ...

• I got into the elevator after picking up a boring salad with some chick that was carrying a McDonald's bag that smelled of sweet artery-clogging goodness.  I hated her for not having a conscience.
• My baby brother - like little six foot something brother - turned twenty.  I used to tuck this kid in at night.  To ensure I, I mean he, won at hide and seek, I'd zip him up in duffel bags or put him in the laundry basket and then throw the dirty clothes on top of him - tell him to stay there until someone found him.  He's in his twenties, doesn't fit into duffel bags, has skanky college girls tuck him in at night and probably makes them hide in the laundry basket until he says so.
• I bought into the whole personal trainer thing after feeling guilty for working late a few days and not making it to the gym.  I spent the whole time trying to prove I was better than her at working out.
• If you know me, you know I love to-do lists (you also know if you try to write on my to-do list in your funky handwriting I will have a heart attack).  Since the next few weeks at work are going to be intense - I created my life's biggest masterpiece.  A lifesize to-do list.  I call group meetings to collectively cross off an item that's been completed.  One thing down, seven hundred more to go.
• I left my wallet, with my pass to get into the office, at my apt.  Lucky for me I'm on a last name basis with the mafioso lobby guard who thinks my uncle is the mayor of some town in New Jersey.  I'm like - "oh I forgot my wallet and pass" and he's like "leave the wallet, take the cannoli."
• This morning on my walk to work, I got hit by a car.  I use the word 'hit' lightly, because the car lightly hit me.  I smacked the hood and tried to be all dramatic, but the driver looked so sad and sorry.  I kinda almost felt bad for her. It's totally cool, I probably would have accidentally hit you too.

TGIF.

-HMOH

i'm a dot com

whoop, whoop. 
look who dropped the blogspot.


-HMOH