to my little bro on his graduation. some sidenotes.

I'm just back from a trip to the University of Arizona for my littlest brother's graduation.  A graduation that not only served as the first step in a new chapter of Michael's life, but also as a reminder that I'm getting old.  As I walked with him through campus, climbed some cactus filled cliffs, tried not to catch a VD from his apartment bathroom, and lamed out because I was "jet lagged" ... I took notes of those pieces of advice I wish I'd known as I stepped into the real world.  So I jotted them down for him because older sisters' know best,and I love this little guy to death.


So Mikey, despite my not wanting to believe you're no longer the little baby I'd read bedtime stories to, or the small munchkin I'd zip up in an overnight bag so we could win together at hide and seek ... here are a few after-graduation sidenotes for you.

• Get a job.  Get one as quickly as you can ... but in the time that you don't have a job, enjoy it.  Enjoy it big time.

• You'll wish you paid attention in certain classes, that you replaced the Mexican Folklore 101 with something more useful like Ballroom Dance.  Learning comes more from outside the classroom.  Get a 4.0 there.

• Your first few paychecks will be quantified by how many shots or nights out that would have been in college.

• There is no shame (I'm just kidding, there's plenty of shame) in puking in unexpected places so you can put your hungover game face on and get back to work.

• Once you've received a job and a paycheck, Mom will look to wind it down. She will (because she has) call you at your office desk and ask how your day is.  She will then have you hold while she conferences in the AT&T representative and forces you to give her your bank account information so that the monthly bills are sent directly to you.  

• Save your money and spend your money.

• Some things will always remind you of college - every time I hear an industrial toilet flush, I think it's a Nittany Lion roar. The mere thought of mind erasers still makes my throat close up.

• There are the people you grew up with, grow fond of, grow old with, and grow apart from.  

• Staying close doesn't mean you have to live close.

• Don't tell your friends how old I actually am. Ever.

• Daddy tried to do that whole birds and bees things with what he knew to be true ... "Guys will use you, abuse you, then lose you." Don't be one of those guys.

• Make time and money for family, friends, vacation, personal days, beach share houses, and brunches.

• Find a group of friends you can act like kids with, but also set a table and pretend to act like adults with.

• Be a good friend. Friends are the family you get to choose for yourself.

• Make good girl friends; treat and respect them like you would treat me - your sister. Protect them, ask them questions to learn more about the opposite sex, and give it to them straight when they need to know that the guy they're dating is a loser ... and you're not just saying that.  

• Don't try to drunkenly sleep with those girl friends. It's not worth it.

• If you find somewhere down the road that you're not happy, focus on the things you can change. In my experience one change for the better helps the rest fall into place.

• Be ok if you find the one (or if you already have) ... even if it's before your turn 35 and you were hoping to make it til then being single. You'll regret not making that happen more than 10 years of being a bachelor.

• When you get your own apartment:

• Shit doesn't fix or clean itself.  Dad and Mom do occasionally, however.

• Learn to cook for yourself.  It's cheaper, healthier, and girls dig it.

• Get a Christmas tree every year, even if it's 2 ft tall.  The ones on the NYC streets are a solid overpriced $100, but totally worth it for 10 days.

• Find time to go home on the weekend to escape the hustle bustle, do free laundry, shop in mom's pantry, hear Dad tell rando stories ... you'll at least make their days.

• Put shoes on before heading to the bagel store. This isn't the dining commons anymore.

• Invite your sister over to watch a movie or hit her up to catch up on HBO because you're too poor to pay.  

• Respect your boss and those who helped you get to where you are. Don't be a little, entitled prick.

• Work hard, play hard, love hard, try hard. It's really not that hard.

• Travel. Make a 30 before 30 list. Put something on it that you're scared of.

• You'll inevitably mess up. Will yourself to try again ... or never try that again.

• If you wanted to, let's say, because a famous celebrity (not a reality star, please) ... I'd be totally down with that. Don't forget the little people ... and remember who lent you $200 to go to Vegas when you were 19, and didn't ask for it back.

• You'll miss college often. Find time to head back.  Head back enough times and you'll find yourself talking about "kids these days" and realize you don't miss it that much at all. 

• Wait til each year passes and at the CVS counter you realize kids born in the 2000s can buy cigarettes.  Just wait.

• Read the news. Not just ESPN or whatever pops up on your Twitter feed.

• Don't post anything on Facebook you wouldn't want your mom, boss or ex girlfriend to see.

• Between emails, voicemails, texts, tweets, etc. find time for hand written notes (even though I hate your handwriting, I'll stress this) and face time.

• You always have me and your big brother here for ANYTHING. To ask questions, let it out, bounce something off of or pick you up in a cab so we can head home (in your clothes from the night before) for Thanksgiving.

• Live it up. Roll with the punches, even when shit sucks. Just like four years of college flew by, imagine your twenties without summer breaks.

• Take life seriously. Make something of yourself. You have the smarts, the looks, the likes, the opportunity and lots of people who love you unconditionally.

Congrats on your Graduation, broman .  I've always known it ... but the real world is lucky to have you.

-HMOH

cinco de chi o, dirty dancing and other traditional wedding activities

Yesterday a coworker, upon inspecting my facebook photos, said the following:  "At first I thought you were at a wedding this weekend, but then I realized you were at a classy Cinco de Mayo party."  Nope, I was definitely at a wedding ... a Penn State wedding. 


There are a few things that are a guaranteed good time.  Any X-men movie, Sunday brunches in the city, and a wedding where a Penn Stater marries a Penn Stater.  Hence the activities from this weekend where Alisa (you may remember her from here) and Brian tied the knot.  To say this wasn't a long time in the making is an understatement.  I remember vividly, awkward moments hanging out as a group when Erica would stop and say, "Hey, guys.  This is so great because when Alisa and Brian get married we'll all be old, but we'll like have a college reunion."  And that's what it was. Another chance for PSU alum, perfectly respectable and successful humans in their every day lives, to misbehave like in the old days.



The details were perfectly "them".  A seriously stunning bride that took your breathe away ... who glided down the aisle with a huge grin and Pearl Jam playing.  A best friend who officiated the ceremony with personal stories and anecdotes, and a quick nod to the brides' favorite things - puppies (um, we realized in the car ride there that it would have been better to rip up checks and get her a puppy but it was too late) and shiny things.  A binding "I now pronounce you husband and wife and best friends forever."  A photo booth stocked with Mexican fare and party goers 
delights.  And a room full of my closest friends, old acquaintances, friends of old "acquaintances" and the such.


From the fact that the festivities took place on Cinco de Mayo (the two met in Spanish class), to the sheer genius who renamed it Cinco de Chi-O in honor of it being a full on sorority formal.  How about the glass bottle in the middle of the dance floor, you know the one normal people place there and then dance around?  How about how the 
photographer tapped a friend on the shoulder and asked if this spectacle was a traditional Irish dance?  Jill just answered the best way she knew how, "Nope, Penn State."  Or the school bus ride home that reminded me all too much of returning from a Greek formal where you knew po-po and/or an RA would be waiting for your unruly arrival.

The evening was filled with dirty dancing.  Then there was the moment. The one when you remember it happening in real life, but can't believe someone was unbelievable enough to capture it in photos and yep, video.  

The one when it becomes clear the groom is having "the time of his life." [um, listen here.  you will hate yourself if you do not click on that link.]

SIDENOTE:  sadly, this Dirty Dancing reenactment seems to be popular among my friends.  Natalie broke her ankle practicing the move at a bachelorette party last year and attended the wedding in a cast and crutches.  

The after party had your typical bridesmaid looking for her misplaced purse, groom asking if it was ok he was down in the bar with his new wife passed out on her father's suites' couch upstairs (no, seriously, totally fine), couples breaking up for the night, friends who walked up to the McD's drive thru and cried discrimination when the woman wouldn't serve them because they weren't in a car.  I rode the elevator up to my hotel room with the groom's father holding a bag of fries and Big Macs, and many a guest returned to their hotel rooms with warm chocolate cookies from the hotel front desk.  My car ride home blasted the Pandora Disney channel where I tried to scream over the speakers and channel my inner Mulan.

It's these fantastic special occasions where you realize a wedding weekend should be just this.  Friends coming together to celebrate a couple who belongs together ... and a party of friends who can still make me laugh.  Who remind me that I still have it in me, until, of course, the 3 hour nap I took when I got home and the fact that I'm headed to the University of Arizona this weekend for my littlest brother's graduation ... remind me that I don't.

Congrats to two of my favorite people!  I think I speak for everyone when I say, "thanks for getting married."  Wishing you a lifetime of happiness, puppies, shiny things, walks to the McD's drive thrus together and never-ending"Classy Cinco De Mayo parties."  

Father of the Bride's Gift:  A Bicycle Built For Two

 

xoxox - HMOH

HMOH homemaid: cauliflower crust pizza

With May in the way and a looming bathing suit season (and some admitted slip-ups where I've taken advantage of the 24 hr pizza place downstairs), it's time to get real.  So with that I'm committed to homemaid (yep, yep … I did that) healthy options.  I've been noticing a lot of super slim people on facebook lately and I'm not too happy about it.  


Here's a great recipe that peaked my Pinterest and … because it was on a credible source (read: Lauren Conrad's blog), I figured it had to make me skinny.  I tried the Cauliflower Crust Pizza (yep, no bread) this evening and it was surprisingly awesome!  There you go -  you're welcome.

Cauliflower Crust Pizza

ingredients

• 1 cup cooked, riced cauliflower
• 1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
• 1 egg, beaten
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• ½ teaspoon crushed garlic
• ½ teaspoon garlic salt
• olive oil (optional)
• pizza sauce, shredded cheese and choice of your toppings*

how-to
1.  rice the cauliflower (rice yes, carbs nope)

• Take 1 large head of fresh cauliflower, remove stems and leaves, and chop the florets into chunks. Add to food processor and pulse until it looks like grain. Do not over-do pulse or you will puree it. (If you don't have a food processor, you can grate the whole head with a cheese grater … or in my case, put it in your mini chopper and hope for the best). 
• Place the riced cauliflower into a microwave safe bowl and microwave for 8 minutes (no water needed - the natural moisture in the cauliflower is enough to cook itself). One large head should produce approximately 3 cups of riced cauliflower. The remainder can be used to make additional pizza crusts immediately, or can be stored in the refrigerator for up to one week.  With an Italian mother ringing in my ear, I clearly doubled up the recipe for leftovers.

2.  in cauliflower we crust

• Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Spray a cookie sheet with non-stick cooking spray
• In a medium bowl, stir together 1 cup cauliflower, egg and mozzarella (I used reduced fat)
• Add oregano, crushed garlic and garlic salt, stir.
• Transfer to the cookie sheet, and using your hands, pat out into a 9" round. Optional: Brush olive oil over top of mixture to help with browning.  NOTE:  I used two 8" cake rounds after doubling the recipe.
• Bake at 450 degrees for 15 minutes.
• Remove from oven
• To the crust, add sauce, toppings and cheese. Place under a broiler at high heat just until cheese is melted (approximately 3-4 minutes).

*recipe sidenotes

• Your toppings should be precooked since you're just broiling at the end.  I used sauteed green peppers and Trader Joe's meatless meatballs (which I mashed and sprinkled)
• Make sure your crust is golden around the edges; I could have left mine in for a little longer so the "crust" would be firmer
• Consider this for a party appetizer and make "Cauliflower Crust Pizza Bites"

Calories per serving: 218

Serves Two 

-HMOH